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Malaprops, Non Sequiturs, and Other Lines That Go Clunk in the Night

Non sequitur Song title Song-poet(s) Label/number Format Artist
Oh that zipper on my pants / It makes me blush and it makes me rant / It sometimes slips and sometimes slides / And causes me embarrassment, besides. Oh That Zipper On My Pants Joseph Hetrick MSR 214 LP MSR Singers
Though you sit around each evening and try to handicap each race / You still could put your arms around me, as I long for your embrace. Don't Gamble With My Heart Eddie Walsh Tin Pan Alley 33-468 45 Alice Prentiss
You're so exciting like a cooked meat on a plate ... / You're so much better than all the vitamins in one egg / You're my favorite chicken leg. Chicken Leg Michael Fraulino MSR 214 LP MSR Singers
Vegas has bright lights and cat shows and dog shows / Horse shows and a lake nearby. Las Vegas Sally Potter Columbine M-11 LP Ralph Lowe
My mouth open wide as if it's sayin' come on in, come on in / My tongue hanging so low that it would cover my chin. Pinch Me Robert Madden Halmark 750749 45 no artist named
Lady off pedestal, indeed, steals the show / And the telephone keeps ringin' with exciting calls. Lady Off Pedestal At Notre Dame Dolly-O Curran Dolly-O 1020 45 Jack Kim
I heard you knockin' knockin' knockin' / On my wee small door. I Heard You Shirley Alford MSR 2799 45 Liza Evans
Sugar, oh sugar, I just idolize your charms. Sugar Walter Greenlaw-Gladys Meaux Air 5027 45 Cara Stewart with Orchestra
Please take my lips, abuse them / To your desire. Don't Break My Dream Of Love Les Hilton-Lucky L. Hudson Top Rock 001 45 Cara Stewart, vocal (Lee Hudson Orch.)
God made me a woman. Adam Alone True Spirit Hollywood Artists HAR-42 LP Charles Clark & Steve Day
Treating every boy / You may eat ["meet"?] the same. Pin A Medal On Mary T. Marabella Air 5063 LP Sonny Marshall
The date I got with the girl of my dreams / While trying to get my dirty washing clean ... I went to a launderette a total stranger / Later I proposed to her by the coin changer. Mary's Launderette Mary Neimy MSR 598 45 Rodd Rogers
You made headlines on the front page of my heart. Headlines Of My Heart Marguriete Crum Columbine NST-36 LP Rick Kershaw
There are man-eating sharks / But they never eat women. Hawaii Calls Walter Wagner Columbine CRH-28 LP Ralph Lowe
Not everyone is against you / Not completely. Keep Those Hopes Up Mary McBride & Lew Tobin Sterling 723 45 Gary Roberts
I got the Jimmy Carter blues / And I don't drink no booze. Jimmy Carter Blues Charlie Taylor Columbine HV-37 45 John Muir
Red is alright, white stands out in the night. Black Is Beautiful Clifton Moore Preview 1765 45 Gene Marshall
I am weak / I can't stand God ["guard"?]. Doralee Or Pearl Donald Pinckney Preview 2266 45 Gene Marshall
Like dust in the wind / You take my breath away. You Take My Breath Away James Sherlock Hollywood Artists HAR-75 LP William LeBlanc
My hand wrote this letter / But my heart held the pen. I'll Take It Like A Man Grace A. Duncan Preview 1876 LP Gene Marshall
Like the roots of a tree / That go deep in the ground / I want my love to be / That much in your mind. Root Of The Tree Robert L. Bostic MSR 290 LP The Sisterhood
Up with your hands. Praying Hands E. Josephine Hermans MSR 290 LP The Sisterhood
We dreamed of spending my life with you. His Second Coming Claire M. Chiappini Halmark 750333 45 no artist named
There it was khaki and men / Heaven was where I had been. Heaven Was Where I Had Been Wm. H. Arpaia Vandalia 124 45 The Babylonians (vocal by Lance Hill)
Remember me as a token of your ageless love. Ageless Love Helen Cromwell-Ted Rosen Hallmark 15773 45 Bob Storm
Your brother's dead, and daddy's gone / Hurry on home, son. Hurry On Home David L. Woodard Cinema 7413 45 The Real Pros
You made my heart an artist / To paint your picture in my mind. Thanks A Lot Mark Winegar & Richard Mack Roxie 331 45 Neal Scott
Her shape is like a figure-8 / Walkin' down the street a half-hour late. Bunny Bert J. Blickenstaff Ronnie 2195 45 Ben Tate
He pre-formed many wonderful miracles / The people could not understand. Jesus Christ, The Greatest Man John C. Freeman Tin Pan Alley 85-739 45 Mike Thomas
When you put this song in your cassette / You can bet / I'll be gone. Put On Melba Taylor MSR 2259 45 Bobbi Blake
He races all the ones he bets in / He'll wear a skullcap, not a Stetson. The Dandy Dude In Dungarees (The Now Cowboy) Alice Cummingham MSR 278 LP no artist named
True love's like a fruitcake / It's much better when it's old. True Love Jess Ely Brea S-006 LP Steve Jennings
My mind's not so fickle / My spine's got a tickle. So Close To Love L.T. Letchworth Tin Pan Alley 60-602 45 Mike Thomas
You know that you belong to the heaven in the sky above / And there's much more to life than just fluff. There's A Heaven In The Sky Above Frank Leeper MSR 2783 45 Dick Kent
It's been so long now, let's get it on / Let's go and see a judge. Will You Marry Me Theodore Henderson Halmark ARP-3343 45 no artist named
Love goes round in circles / Takes in animals and turtles. I Saw The Light H.D. Simpson Songuild 947 45 Fortune
Love goes around in circles / Takes in all animals and turtles / What a time we do have / Until we are blue and purple. Love Song Of '74 H.D. Simpson Halmark 750136 45 no artist named
That perfect touch / When we kissed goodnight / Left a murmur in my heart. That Perfect Touch Eddie Haek Halmark OV-514 45 no artist named
Do you now love me / Or do you not? / You told me once / But I just forgot. Dearest One J. Zawistowski Nu-Sound 1257 45 Todd Andrews
Drinkin' beer with a heavy straw / Hey lumberjack / I wanna be a loving man / Not to be misled down a railroad track. I Want To Be A Loving Man Carmelo Maldonado Alvarez Royal Master 4343 LP Matt Vincent
He made chime clocks / True sublime clocks / And they were all such fine clocks. The Old Clockmaker Santo Marotta Noveline 201 45 Kris Arden
Oh I know Jesus / He's a mighty good man. He's A Mighty Good Man Fairey Bell-Gene Brooks Preview 1643 45 Barbara Foster
Let me tell ya baby / I'm the messiah of music / And I'm willing to give you fonk! Ten O'Clock Is Boogie Time Hycienth Ideozu Sunrise HS-024 LP Buddy Raye
Are you worthy, dear ones / To kiss his sweet feet? His Sweet Feet Minnie Souza Columbine G-13 LP Kay Weaver
Some fat men even look like they're in their first month of labor. Fat Person John Thomas Jordan Tin Pan Alley 106-842 45 Mike Thomas
How in the world do you kill a truck? / How do you shoot and kill a truck? Wish I Could Shoot A Gun Juanita Young Felker Columbine CRH-51 LP Kay Weaver
Old man, you're gonna die / Old man, we're gonna cry. An Old Man's Life Gary M. Gaston Columbine CRH-51 LP Ralph Lowe
It makes me warm and anti-freezy / Makes me want to hug and squeezy. Mary Louise Mildred Romer Fable 536 45 Mike Sather with the Ferguson Four & Sandy Stanton's Top Flighters
So he departed, bound for Orlando / To pick up fruit for the northland-o. Danny's Return Fredrick Fargnoli, Jr. Preview 1266 45 Rodd Keith
Her face sticks in my brain / There beauty without stain. Living Alone With Me Mansouri Hollywood Artists T-223 cass. Charlie Clark

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