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THE FLIGHT
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In which Dion hosts a U.N.-styled balloon ride to the moon. The flight is quickly derailed by some oblivious storks.
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A CITY SO NICE
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A hurried tour of Manhattan's moviehouses and tourist sites. The name of the piece is in reference to the old phrase about New York, New York: "A city so nice they named it twice."
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LITTLE WILLIE SONG
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Dion's baroque ballad turns slightly bawdy, but the Freudian interpretation that follows it runs positively amuck. Now poor Willie Smite will probably be needing a prosthetic wanger, and the walls will definitely need to be cleaned.
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WHA DEBOHA YO YAH?
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Even in "tongues," Dion's dreams are agitated and dramatic. This one is moved to its conclusion by the siren's call.
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DUMB FART!
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[quickie #1]
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THE C.L. CONTEST
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It will soon be clear what "C.L." stands for. Slightly misleading quotation: "There was cum all over one of those judge's hats. She had on a sweet little white hat -- riddled with it." The dream ends in a (dreamt, or real?) sneezing fit.
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THE COLLECTION
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In khaki shorts and pith helmet, Dion treks through forest and field in search of specimens for his collection of species both extinct and fantastical. This dream answers the epochal question of what you get when you mate a werewolf and a unicorn; left unresolved, however, is whether or not mermaids lay eggs.
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CUP YOUR SPOON
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This dream appeared in the book version of The Dream World Of Dion McGregor under the title "Cassius Clay Is Here To Stay." Although that phrase never appears in the text, it was presumably chosen in reference to Ali's style of breezy couplet, which is adapted here by Dion McGregor.
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THE WAGON
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A No-Tell Motel on wheels, catering to a different preference for each day of the week. [transcript]
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JACK PAAR SHOW
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Nobody ignores this guy's offer for Jack Paar tickets and gets away with it.
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TATTOO
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Dion tattoos "LOVE" on the topside of a volunteer's tongue, but in the course of inscribing the opposite word on the opposite side his indelicate touch yanks the squriming muscle clear out of the poor woman's head. Never mind how the patient is doing -- Dion is too busy admiring his handiwork to concern himself with her needs.
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ASS BIT
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[quickie #2]
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WHAT A WOMAN
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Gives new meaning to the word "statuesque." [transcript]
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THE GREAT WALTZ PARTY
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Cue the harpsichords, Dion's Baroque again. This time he takes his mom to a party, where she loses her virginity by screwing his friend Shirley. The dreamt names of Jane and Jacqueline, Mike and Skip are all references to Dion's real-life friends -- "Mike," of course, would be Michael Barr, our humble recordist.
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THE SURVEY
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Dion goes door-to-door interviewing housewives, then berates them for not having on their favorite outfit. One woman obliges him by redressing herself, "complete to perfume" -- and then her husband comes home. He and Dion mix it up, and a well-timed sound effect (in reality, a bedside dish of red-hots upended by the fitfully-asleep Dion) brings the dream to a crashing conclusion.
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THE FOOD AND WHAT TO DO WITH IT
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"Do turkeys have tits?" Gobble-gobble-gobble.
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DON'T BREAK THE MAILMAN
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It's a truly ill wind that blows through Lovelyville.
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VULVINA
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In this most unique of carny sideshows, Vulvina merges the girlie tent with the freak tent. Despite some hilarious lines, the scenario of this dream is a bit subtle and is only revealed by inference, so pay close heed. [transcript]
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16 TICKETS TO SCHENECTADY
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A mobius strip of self-reference, in which Dion McGregor dreams about the tape-recording of his dreams. The dream then shifts abruptly to one in which the Dorothy Lamour Fan Club follows its heroine around on tour: "Anywhere she goes, we goes." Dion takes umbrage when Harvey Whiffey, the ticket clerk at the train station, doubts that Dion can score with Dorothy. The two tussle.
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THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
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[quickie #3]
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