THE WAGON

RE YOU FROM out of town? Hmmm? You are. You can almost always tell. Well, yes, there's always a line. It's quite a gathering in the square. Hmmm. Well ... we never pay any attention to what day it is, no. You can tell that by the wagon. Also by the crowd, you can tell. Well, I see there are a lot of animals in the line today, so it, it's ... yes, it's the Fuck Wagon today. Umm-hmmm. Well, anything goes in the Fuck Wagon. That's right ... um-hmmm. You see that man there with that bear? Well ... hmm. I know. Oh, I've never seen an ostrich before. My lord, what must that be like? Hmmm. Yes, anything goes on the ... Friday -- it must be Friday, cause Friday's the Fuck Wagon. Yes ... um-hmmm. Quite a large line.

Saturday's the Suck Wagon. Sunday is ... that's Supervised Conception. Urnm-hmm. Well, they know all the particulars, they know all the particulars. That's right ... you have a little chart with you, umm-hmmm. They know when their periods are. That's right. Well, it's sort of like rhythm, isn't it? Mmm. They know, they know ... Supervised Conception.

Monday's Masturbation Wagon. That's very odd, too -- you should see some of the things those ladies carry along with them. Hmmm? Oh, no.

Tuesday? Tit Wagon. That's mostly for ... you know, pre-teenagers. Well ... it's to get them in the mood when they grow up ... umm-hmmm. Yes.

Wednesday's the most popular day -- that's Watch Wagon. Uh-huh. It's one couple, and an extra person to watch. Well, all kinds of combinations, yes. And, the line is always the biggest that day. I don't know. It's a country of voyeurs ... mmm.

Then Thursday's Twat Day. Yes. Well ... that's mostly the youngsters, mostly the youngsters. When you get a little older, one twat more or less is like another ... mmm.

But Friday ... Fuck Day is pretty popular, too. I think ... yes. Um-hmm. Well, the Fuck Wagon and the Watch Wagon are the, the best. Um-hmm. I guess it's ... well, the Suck Wagon comes pretty close to the Fuck Wagon, but ... yeah. Oh, it's very above-board, certainly. Yes. Well, you see everybody you know. Y'can tell the preferences by the days they're out here. But the line gets ...

What? What? Oh ... of course! She doesn't want me to tell her husband. [chuckles] But her husband's back farther in the line, do you see him? See that little man with the gray hat. Little. There's a great big blonde in front of him ... mmm. D'you see what he's got? Mmmm. Can't be over nine years old. His wife is safe.

[chuckles] Who've I got? Why, I have you. I have you, I have you! We're next, come on! Come on! [laughs]


CD contents:

THE SELECTIONS